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Tuesday, May 1st, 2007
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10:08 pm
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I like how i put my heart into making you something and now that you are back home you don't even talk to me.
i love being used by bored and friendless people.
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, April 23rd, 2007
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10:07 pm
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drunk off my toots!
no one to talk to
work tomorrow... fun?
no.
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, March 28th, 2007
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8:44 pm
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i hate it when the people you expect to be there most....aren't
it's fucking irritating when you put your heart and soul into being there for them and doing all you can to make their situation easier, but when it comes to you in a crisis, NO you fuck off.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Saturday, February 10th, 2007
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7:43 pm
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| Monday, February 5th, 2007
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11:44 am
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This move is totally tearing my life apart.
Everytime me and tony talk about it, i feel us getting further apart, it feels like he is preparing himself to loose me! but i really don't want that at all, tony means the world to me, i would rather be homeless and still with tony then live at my dads without him. And i always break down into tears after every phone call.
i am so confused about what to do.
My friends don't give a shit about whether i move or not and it is fucking pathetic that i have treated some of them as my family for a big part of my life and now when i need help, they all turn away. It's fucking wrong and i hate them for it.
I dunno if i can ever forgive my mum for this, i mean she has done some pretty horrific thiongs to me during my early teens and childhood, like leaving me alone for a week in the house, or dumping me on my friends familys to look after, so she can go off and do her own thing.
It is always the way and i am sick of it.
I just wish she would act like a parent/grown up and not like a fucking stubborn 16 year old. I don't hate her for leaving me, infact i want her to leave every single day, more and more.
It's the fact that she just announced it all of sudden, she hasn't helped me get a job or get back to college again,she is basically jstu doing her own thing.
My mum basically thinks that because i am over 16 i can look after myself and i don't need her help anymore because i am old enough, which to an extent i guess is true. But there is a big part of me that really needs her help still.
I love my dad i really do, of course i do. But he has never been there for me either, the only times he has taken and intreset in me is when i have gotten into trouble about something, or i have fucked up with school/college.
But he lives in the middle of fucking no where, and that would kill me.
I just think i have totally lost my way & there is no one, not even tony that can help me sort this out again.
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, January 30th, 2007
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9:21 pm
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i sometimes think that quite alot of my friends have it so easy and they jsut don't realise...it's fucking irritating & they go around complaining about money and how they never have it when they get £50 a month and on top of that shopping trips with their parents.
it fucking sucks not to ever have money, niether one of my parents give me money...well dad does occasionally, when i ask for it, otherwise i don't get anything! And yes i have been looking for a job, so don't even start with that.
I just wanna move out! God its looking like im gonna have to go to my dads.
life is fucking LAME at the moment. fuck it
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| Sunday, July 23rd, 2006
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11:26 pm
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well, really been off the radar for awhile, which is cool.
Loads of stuff has happened & laods hasn't like me not being able to get a job & have any money.
basically just been living at tonys & that's abit it really....talked to grace on the phone which was...surreal but wickead cos i've missed grace & merida loads!
OOOOH yeah everyone should come to the engine rooms on FRIDAY cos; 1) it's Beards birthday & 2)Thrones show at the engine rooms!
& come along on the 5th of August cos gallows and send more paramedics are playing....it'll be super fun!
ps. why is everyone so excited to find out that pete from BB is in a band...they are bollocks.
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, April 21st, 2006
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9:33 am
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i am getting so nervous, i couldn't sleep last night & got up at about 6 this morning.
i can't get hold of caroline becuase her mobile is allll funny & she ahsn't called me & she went out last night, i hope she made the train!
sheeeeat i am soooo nervous!
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Thursday, April 20th, 2006
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1:18 pm
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caroline is comming to my house tomorrow!
i am so excited we have known each other for soo long, but yet to meet! I am so excited, although i only have like £16 for the whole weekend...dunno how i am gonna get to reading & back on sunday.
i am meting her at southampton at 12.30 tomorrow & then we are going into southampton, then the pub, back to mine to camp in the garden!! well excited i am.
My first exam is about a week & abit away, i haven't talked to my mum for about a week & my dad has a new job.
so things are really looking up.......
anyone want to lend me some mulay & i'll pay you back next weekend?
didn't think so
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(8 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, April 12th, 2006
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9:06 pm
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| Sunday, November 13th, 2005
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12:22 am
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this weekend has been so good.
i know we have another day but i'm going inline skating tomorrow & that's nothing special, except i am delivering sandwiches to spencer & trist.
on friday i went up to hassocks with spencer, trist, hc & that, but got shouted out & it was raining so i couldn't be fucked.
so me, hc, ed, spencer & trist, all went home after about 20 mins of sitting at the station....trist & grant missed the train.
Me, spencer, Hc & ed went back & caught the bus to town.
HC went to the pub & the rest of us went to burger king for a PISS!
went back to spencers & then to beavers.
sat in the garage & got wrecked as! had pizza.
Beavers cat got right up in my grill, literally on my face trying to eat my pizza.
got home at about 3 in the morning.
SATURDAY i went into town at about 4 to meet liberty, ed & amy sat in kenz being ridiculously hungover & wearing the same clothes as before.
went to primark & felt bras, got a coffe & went to the pub with amy
it was ace, we had well good DMC's!(i really missed aimi today!)
spent a long time there, we both went home & got ready to go to amy's later with spencer.
basically ran there, had a few & danced to 'soul classics', DMC's with gina on the trampoline, touching amy up & then ANT CAME!!!
golly gosh i haved missed him.
everyone danced alot in the living room & span the dog out.
we all left & everyone has gone to alex's & i'm here!
i wrote this post on saturday!
WOOOO
( boppdeboop! )
current music: the arctic monkeys
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, October 20th, 2005
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5:31 pm
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| Wednesday, September 7th, 2005
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9:14 am
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i don;t want to bore all of you with break up thoughts, but i really am such a paranoid & jealous person!
Andy is meeting that ellie gal tomorrow in southampton.
he is such a hypocrit, he really is!!! i fucking hate it.
he gives me all these reasons why we break up & the main one, is that i am too young, but me & ellie are the same age.It makes no sense!
& last night i called him for abit of a catch up & he is out with, sam, sophie & someone else.He tries to make me jealous by pulling sophie onto his lap, but why would i care when sophie is going out with same, it's soo fucking stupid.
I don;pt want to hate him, cos thats what he wants, cos for me to hate him, will make it easier for him to deal with this shitty break up!
god this boy is so fucked up in the head, its jsut one big confusin.
& even if they do gt together & she meets elmon & everyone back in brighton....hahaha lets just say i don;t think elmon will approve.
god im so frustrated...i need a shag.
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, September 5th, 2005
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5:15 pm
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| Saturday, August 6th, 2005
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12:22 pm
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i have pictures from the last few days!
yesterday i went to hannahs, it was awesomly good, and a tad myspace i must say.My and brenDAN had chatz in the garden&grace showed us how to play 'i have never..' which REALLY isn't as good as i thought it was going to be.
UNFOURTUNATLY i cannot go to pride today, i have to see other people&i saw the crew last night.
I just thought i could squeeze in some whackout love....but alas no.
it was so good seeing nick last night, i think he is one of my bestest favourite mates from the hampshire area!
TEAM CRAZY SOAP! was created and it was so funny, so many memories in that bathroom, so many pictures, videos and jokez!(suck that team milch!)
( aint no need to go outside! )
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(7 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, July 30th, 2005
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5:00 pm
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golly gosh, i jsut got back from walking the dogs.we walked 6 miles altogether
i feel so proud, yet tired.
it poured down and i got drenched as!
( DEAL! )
current music: the knife
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, July 21st, 2005
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12:51 pm
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| Sunday, June 26th, 2005
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3:12 pm
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| Tuesday, May 24th, 2005
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11:37 am
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| Monday, April 25th, 2005
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8:39 pm
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well basically today went alittle like this:
skipped school&went to robs
where we watch some black stand up comedy, pretty funny
i must say.
then we ate breakfast&watched some more TV
started drinking cider at about 1.30
went to the point&then to town
where i left rob&met andy
by which time i was rather pissed.
walked back to andys house
which is fucking amazing, went on the net
&watching animals by the big RICKY G
made cups of tea&smokes.
Elliot&guy&lee came back
where we continued to watch the new jimmy eat world DVD
which was bloody amazing
mother called up saying im grounded
unluck really
so whatevs
god i well wanted to kiss andy today, it was abit ridiculous
current mood: headache like totally
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(10 comments | comment on this)
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thissceneisdead's journal